[Prev][Next][Index]

Yucks Digest V1 #61



Yucks Digest                Fri, 21 Jun 91       Volume 1 : Issue  61 

Today's Topics:
                   Another answering machine risk?
                     Brady Bunch Trivia Questions
                             Just Say No!
                    NJ Duo Lists Worst-Ever Albums
                      Once upon a weird time...
                        Snack-time suggestion
                    Snake Has A Sweatshirt-Ectomy
                when in the course of weird events...

The "Yucks" digest is a moderated list of the bizarre, the unusual, the
possibly insane, and the (usually) humorous.  It is issued on a
semi-regular basis, as the whim and time present themselves.

Back issues may be ftp'd from arthur.cs.purdue.edu from
the ~ftp/pub/spaf/yucks directory.  Material in archives
Mail.1--Mail.4 is not in digest format.

Submissions and subscription requests should be sent to spaf@cs.purdue.edu

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Newsgroups: comp.risks
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 91 08:38:32 PDT
From: daveb@ingres.com (Dave Brower, UNIX Group, [415] 748-3418)
Subject: Another answering machine risk?

[From the 6/13/91 SF Chronicle]

   LEAVE A MESAGE AT THE TONE:  Either a disgruntled employee or a 
   disgusted fan somehow changed the telephone message at the Minnesota
   Viking's offices recently.  Instead of the regular message, callers
   hears this: ``Thank you for calling the most rotten, stinking team
   in the history of man.  that's right, you have reached the
   Minnesota Vikings.''

------------------------------

Date: 19 Jun 91 23:30:05 GMT
From: scannell@bubba.ma30.bull.com (P Scannell)
Subject: Brady Bunch Trivia Questions
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny

(1) Name the three Brady Bunch episodes written by Jean-Paul Sartre, and
give the pseudonym under which he received screen credit.  Hint: the
rejected script adapted from "No Exit" doesn't count, nor does his script
treatment (co-authored with Albert Camus) for the TV-movie "The Brady
Girls Join the Revolutionary Proletariat."

(2) In the episode entitled "A Farewell to Arms," what part of his body
does Bobby accidentally shoot off with his father's AK-47?  Hint: "arms"
is the wrong answer.

(3) Name the episode directed by Martin Scorcese.  What role did Robert
DeNiro play?  How much dinero did he get for playing it?

(4) An easy one: in the episode "A Long Day's Journey Into Night," to
what substance was Florence Henderson addicted?

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 19 Jun 91 11:05:53 -0700
From: bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: Just Say No!
To: /dev/null@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU

The Chile Pepper Counterculture
	Robb Walsh, Austin Chronicle, Frinday, May 3, 1991

Endorphins, those natural drugs that are 100 to 1,000 times more
powerful than morphene, are released into our brain when we eat hot
chile petters, according to a New Mexico University scientist.  Like
other psychotropics, including peyote, coca and tabacco, chile peppers
alter our state of consciousness.  In the case of chile peppers the
high is non-hallucinogenic, but it is addictive.  Experimental
psychologist Frank Etscorn of the New Mexico Institute of Mining and
Technology told the New Mexico Chile Conference that chile addicts are
hooked on endorphins.  "We get slightly strung out, but it's no big
deal," he says.

Getting a runner's high without the running may be a bigger deal than
Etscorn imagines.  It also explains a lot about the perverse
psychology of chile-pepper lovers.  Eating more chile peppers produces
more pain, more pain produces more endorphis.  Maintaining a steady
burn has been called "mouth surfing" by many observers of the emerging
chile pepper counterculture.  The endorphins and physical sensations
that flood the brain when a chile addict bites into a pepper suddenly
interrupt the thought processes and overwhelm the senses.  This
phenomenon has been described by doctors as a "rush."  According to
Dr. Weil, a physician quoted by Austin chile expert Jean Andrews,
chile junkies "glide along on the strong stimulation, experiencing it
as something between pleasure and pain that ... brings on a high state
of consciousuness."

Psychologist Paul Rozin, whose studies on chile-pepper lovers provide
many clues to their behavior, has written that chile eaters have
several motivations.  Chile eating, according to Rozin, is one of
those "benignly masochistic" activities that provide thrills, like
horror movies, swimming in icy water or parachute jumping.  A more
primal motivation for chile eating and a clue to the introduction of
chile peppers into the human diet is the physiological phenomenon
known as "gustatory sweating."

In her book, _Chile Peppers_, author Jan Andrews reviews studies of
gustatory sweating which show that this unique kind of perspiration of
the face and scalp is induced by eating chile peppers in hot weather.
This probably explains the connection between hot food and the
tropics.  But tropical chile eaters get just as hooked on the thrills
as they do on the cooling effects of gustatory sweating.  Although
gustatory sweating does not occur at all in cool weather, once a chile
eater gets hooked, the habit continues regardless of the temperature.
The growth of the chile-pepper counterculture into the far reaches of
the temperate zone seems to indicate that cooling perspiration is not
the only reason people develop the habit.

The chile-pepper counterculture is growing fast; between the early
1970s and the early 1980s, the American Spice Trade Association
reported that imports of all dried red peppers jumped 61 percent.
Chile pepper production in New Mexico has almost doubled.  Thai,
Szechuan, Mexican, Cajun and other hot foods are popular in New
England and Minnesota.  Rumor has it that some former marijuana
smokers who used to grow a few plants in the basement have found a new
use for their growlights and imported bat guano.  They are using the
exotic farm equipment to turn out chile peppers as hot as the ones in
the tropics.  There's something happening here.

Faith Popcorn, the Madison Avenue marketing-trend analyst to Fortune
500 companies, has identified this trend as part of the "cocooning"
super trend.  People are staying at home and seeking "thrills" they
can experience without going anywhere.  Exotic food, especcially hot
foods like chile peppers, are replacing the more exotic kinds of
"adventures" that the baby boomers have given up to stay home with the
kids. 

Can you hurt yourself with jalapenos?  According to the United States
Dispensatory, "Capsicum [chile pepper] is a local stimulant... that
differs from other local irritants in producing practically
no reddening of the skin even where there is a very severe subjective
sensation; while it has a pronounced irritant effect on the endings of
the sensatory nerves, it has little action upon capillary or other
blood vessels.  Therefore it does not cause blistering, even in high
concentrations." 

In fact, peppers have many medicinal benefits.  The Mayans and other
Indian cultures used hot peppers for respiratory problems.  Peppers
are expectorants--they aid congestion and digestion by causing more
throat secretions.  Hot peppers have also been found to aid in
dissolving blood clots.  Most importantly, they are a better source of
Vitamin C and A than most other fruits and vegetables.  In fact the
Hungarian scientist who won a Nobel Prize for discovering Vitamin C
relied on paprika peppers as a source for large amounts of the
substance.

There are some scientists who feel that peppers my cause some damage
to the stomach and taste buds, but they are in the minority.
Gastroenterologists in India report inflammation using pure capsicin,
the heat-producing chemical substance in peppers.  Studies by Paul
Rozin have shown that people used to eating lots of peppers lose some
ability to detect the heat after awhile.  That is, in laboratory
testing, hot-pepper lovers culdn't detect any heat at all when given
chile extract in extremely low concentrations, while regular subjects
could.  You can conclude from this that a tolerance to chiles is
acquired.  But to say that some damage is caused, some tastebud
burnout has occurred, is a more suspect conclusion.  It is the pain
receptors in the mouth that detect chiles, not the taste buds.
Capsaicin, the chemical causing the burn, is completely tasteless.

The overwhelming body of opinion indicates that the pain of peppers is
intense but causes no real damage.  That's why blistering or reddening
is not associated with pepper pain.  People with ulcers should avoid
peppers because of the effect peppers have on gastric secretions.
Peppers cause more digestive juices to flow, but it is the stomach
liquid, not the pepper itself, that will aggravate the ulcer.  Of
course, from a pure pain point-of-view, eating chile peppers when you
have an ulcer is not a good idea anyway.  But otherwise, don't worry
about hurting yourself eating chile peppers.

The chemical capsicin is fooling your nerves into believing that they
are burning in hell, when in fact nothing is wrong with them at all.
And your dumb body rushes all those painkillers to those special
receptors in the brain.  That's a pretty good practical joke, huh?
Pass the hot sauce.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 20 Jun 91 22:01:46 PDT
From: one of our correspondants
Subject: NJ Duo Lists Worst-Ever Albums
To: yucks-request

 By LARRY McSHANE
 Associated Press Writer
   NEW YORK (AP)
   Joey Bishop, country-western singer, is bad. John Travolta, pop
crooner, is worse. And Joel Grey doing Cream's "White Room"...well,
life's not always a cabaret. But would you believe The Grateful Dead,
Bob Dylan and Lou Reed all made worse albums?
   That's what Jimmy Guterman and Owen O'Donnell say in their new
book "The Worst Rock n' Roll Records of All Time."
   While Grey (No. 36), Bishop (No. 33) and Travolta (No. 18) did
make three of the worst 50 albums ever, they had plenty of company,
the authors say. Dylan, the Dead, Reed, The Doors and Elvis Presley
are all in the pair's 10 worst album list.
   The King, in fact, tops the list with 1974's "Having Fun With
Elvis on Stage," a 40-minute collection of his stage banter. "Elvis
Presley made some truly horrible records that stand today as vivid
arguments against barbiturates," write the authors.
   The all-time worst singles? Chuck Berry grabs the top spot with
"My Ding-a-Ling," while Stevie Wonder ("Used to Be," a duet with
Charlene), Don McLean ("American Pie") and Linda Ronstadt ("Back in
the U.S.A.") are in the bottom 10 as well.
   Guterman and O'Donnell adopt a scorched-earth policy; almost no
artist of the past 30 years escapes unscathed. Their favorite targets
are Billy Joel and Phil Collins, but dozens of other performers come
under fire  like the Doors, whose frontman Jim Morrison is derided as
"the most overrated performer in the history of rock and roll."
   The Doors' "Alive, She Cried," released 12 years after Morrison's
death, they said, is the eighth worst album of all time.
   The criteria for making the list, as outlined by the authors, is
simple: "We have two goals here: to be funny and to infuriate...We'll
have no novelty records...For our purposes, a miserable record by a
great performer (say, Bob Dylan) is far more interesting than the
latest garbage installment from a hack (say, Neil Diamond)."
   No novelty records, that is, with one exception: the 49th worst
single from Beverly Hillbillies star Irene Ryan, with the 1965
nightmare "Granny's Mini-Skirt."
   Some misguided attempts at rock 'n' roll make it as well, like the
No. 11 worst single: a remake of the Everly Brothers classic "All I
Have to Do Is Dream," by (THE FOLLOWING TWO NAMES ARE CORRECT) Andy
Gibb and Victoria Principal.
   "All you hear in the vocals are one mediocre singer and his
untalented girlfriend," say the authors.
   So who are these guys, trashing these great rock stars?
   They grew up as neighbors in Bayonne, N.J., although they crush
fellow Garden Stater Jon Bon Jovi, 26th worst album, "Slippery When
Wet." Both have "a sick love and a keen eye for rock and roll trash."
Guterman has written for Rolling Stone and Spy; O'Donnell edits
"Contemporary Theater, Film and Television."

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 19 Jun 91 08:19:01 PDT
From: kds@mipos2.intel.com (Ken Shoemaker)
Subject: Once upon a weird time...
To: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu, spaf, katz@il3cad.intel.com

May 26, 1991

CARELESS ROBBERS HAD NO BEEF COMING

Fleeing from the robbery of a children's clothing store in Los Angeles in
October, Douglas Eric Girard, 32, and his colleague Frank M. Terasi got in
line at a nearby McDonald's, hoping to be inconspicuous as police flooded
the area.  However, both were heavily tattooed, Girard had a gun in his
waistband, and both men had wads of money bulging out of their socks.  After
a standoff, they were captured.

LEAST COMPETENT PEOPLE

Ronald S. Terry, 25, was arrested near Morristown, N.J., for robbery of a
gas station in January because he forgot to check the cars in the driveway,
one of which was a police car with an officer inside.  When Terry emerged
from the station, clutching cash, and saw the officer, he ran back inside and
flung the cash at the attendant but was arrested anyway.

In November, two men were arrested in Clayton, Mo., for stealing copper
gutters and drain spouts from several homes and selling them as scrap.
Police believe that it took the men "several hours" to dismantle the parts
(and would cost the homeowners several thousand dollars to repair), but that
the subsequent sales netted the thieves only "$8 to $10" on the scrap market.

In March, Daniel Smith and Louis Reed were arrested for stealing a huge,
green, 1971 gas-guzzling car in Baton Rouge, La.  They came to the attention
of police as they drove the car slowly backward past a police station to
get to a gas station.  They had stolen a car that had no forward gear.

Police in Doylestown, Pa., arrested Alfons Kessler, 47, in March for
attempting to murder his girlfriend's husband.  It was Kessler's fifth
attempt at the man.  He had been unsuccessful using a gun, a truck, a
Molotov cocktail and a crossbow, and this time was unsuccessful using a pipe
bomb.

Fifteen gang members were arrested in Nashville last June after terrorizing
the clerk at a formal wear shop.  They had gone to be outfitted for a
friend's funeral and then begun trashing the place.  Fortunately for police,
the gangsters had first filled out applications for the tuxedos, and police
were able to call their homes and entice them back to the shop to arrest
them.

In October Los Angeles police arrested James Richardson, 32, and Jeffrey
Defalco, 18, for stealing a 3-ton safe that had been left on a sidewalk
pending arrival of a forklift to move it.  The safe was empty, but the men
thought it contained $6000.  As they dragged the safe behind their car, it
created a deafening noise; further, the metal on the pavement created such a
spectacular shower of sparks that police were alerted.  Police followed the
gouges in the pavement and arrested the men.

ABLE CABLE

Tara Georgianna Gephart Judkins, 37, was accused in February of performing
oral sex on a Viacom Cablevision employee in Nashville in exchange for a
cable TV hookup.  A Nashville Banner reporter failed to ascertain whether
she received premium channels of just basic cable.

POLICE BLOTTER

Jesus Lezcano, 20, was arrested in Westminster, Calif., last July, on
suspicion of drunk driving.  Police say he had driven over 15 miles with an
emergency telephone call box stuck in his windshield after he smashed into
it on the San Diego Freeway.  A police officer said Lezcano was so drunk
that he did not appear to realize that the call box was in his windshield.

Convicted killer Daniel Faries was indicted in August on charges that he
earned $2 million in a direct-mail credit-card fraud scam operated out of
his Dade County, Fla., jail cell.  Jail records indicate Faries had placed
more than 1000 phone calls from his cell.  When the cell was searched in
1989, guards found 2000 credit cards.

In October, a 24-year-old man told police that a woman forced her way into
his car at knife-point at 4pm one day in Ocala, Fla., kidnapped him, made
him submit to oral sex, and then made him sign a paper stating that he owed
her some money.

June 2, 1991

SHE'S FEELING ANTSY FOR GOOD REASON

A 12-year-old girl is under treatment at the All India Institute of Medical
Sciences in South Delhi, India, because ants emerge from her right eye.
Doctors have used medication to reduce the number from 50-60 per day to six
or seven per day.  They believe small holes in an eyelid may be hosting ant
eggs, but surgery and X-rays have been inconclusive.  She reports the
condition irritating but not painful.

CREME DE LA WEIRD

Australian lesbian Lisa Ptaschinski, 25, was convicted in February of
assisting her lover, Tracy Wigginton, in the murder of Edward Baldock.
Wigginton preferred blood to solid food and occasionally seduced Ptaschinski
to cut her wrists in the name of love.  (Ptaschinski said, "If you are going
out with someone, you do whatever you can to please them.")  Wigginton was
said to have gone into a "feeding frenzy" after the murder of Baldock,
looking afterward as though she had eaten a huge meal, according to
Ptaschinski.

Logan, Ohio, police charged Charles Hess, 49, with cruelty to animals in
February after they found four wolves living in his car.  The back seat had
a layer of straw, covered with blood, feces and urine.

Wanda Webb Holloway, 36, was arrested in January for putting out a murder
contract on a Channelview, Texas, woman.  Holloway wanted to ensure that her
daughter was chosen for her junior high cheerleading squad and thought the
way to keep her daughter's main rival out of the competition was to kill the
girl's mother so the daughter would be grief-stricken and drop out.
Holloway reportedly first considered killing the woman's daughter, too, but
discovered she couldn't afford both contracts.

Dr. Herbert L. Borison, 68, a professor and neurophysiologist at Dartmouth
Medical School, was found dead recently of apparent suicide.  He was a
leading authority on vomiting.

In March, Air Force pilot Craig Fisher lost a $19 million F-16 jet fighter
when he was unable to handle both the controls and his "piddle pack," a
sponge-filled pouch for in-flight urination.  He had attempted to raise
himself up for a better urinating position when his foot hit the wrong
pedal.  Fisher ejected safely.

In Connecticut's second such incident in a year, Gary A. Ecsedy turned
himself in to park rangers in Hamden, confessing he had crawled under an
outhouse in a state park in January to peer up at women using the toilet.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

In December in Green Bay, Wis., Roger L. Compton, 38, pleaded no contest to
neglecting his 16-month-old child.  The child was left alone and disappeared
briefly.  Compton said he had planned to report the child missing but was
waiting for the end of the Packers game on television.

A Borsad, India, judge granted a divorce to a woman in October because her
husband wanted to marry another woman, but with the provision that before
the final decree, the man would have to submit to a public beating by the
wife.

In August, Chile's supreme court ordered the private Provindencia Clinic to
release a newborn baby who had been withheld from his parents for 11 days as
collateral for $1000 in unpaid medical bills.

UNDIGNIFIED DEATHS

Both brides in a double wedding ceremony were among 13 killed in Ramtha,
Jordan, in September when the dance floor in the reception hall collapsed
and sent guests in to a cesspool.  Both grooms survived.

A 31-year-old commercial laundry worker in Boston was killed in November
when he was knocked into a huge dryer by a 100-pound load of wet clothing.
The man was trapped inside for the six-minute spin cycle.

A 31-year-old delivery man was killed in April in Tampa when 500 pounds of
Nutty Buddies ice cream cones he was delivering fell on him.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 19 Jun 91 09:23:15 EDT
From: D. W. James <vnend@Princeton.EDU>
Subject: Snack-time suggestion
To: eniac@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us

                        Crispy Cajun Crickets
                (From Natural History 7/91, page 72)
   (Adapted from a recipe in the Food Insects Newsletter, March 1990)

Tired of the same old snack food?  Perk up your next party with Crispy
Cajun Crickets ("pampered" house crickets, Acheta domesticus, available
from  Fluker's Cricket Farm, P.O. Box 378, Baton Rouge, LA 79821,
800-735-8537).

        1 cup crickets
        1 pinch oatmeal
        4 ounces butter, melted
          Salt
          Garlic
          Cayenne

1. Put crickets in a clean, airy container with oatmeal for food.  After
   one day, discard sick crickets and freeze the rest.

2. Wash frozen crickets in warm water and spread on cookie sheet.  Roast
   in a 250-degree oven until crunchy.

3. Meanwhile, heat butter with remaining ingredients and sprinkle this sauce
   on crickets before serving.

                Yield: 1 serving

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 20 Jun 91 22:01:24 PDT
From: one of our correspondants
Subject: Snake Has A Sweatshirt-Ectomy
To: yucks-request

   MANDAN, N.D. (AP)
   A pet python named Ca is doing just fine after surgery to remove a
sweatshirt he swallowed.
   The sweatshirt was wrapped around a heating pad that served as a
bed for the 9-foot Burmese python in his glass case at the home of
E.D. Meeker, his wife, Mary, and sons Chris and Ward.
   Mrs. Meeker discovered the sweatshirt missing one morning last
week  and she also noticed Ca was looking a little plump, with a
bulge in his belly the size of a bowling ball.
   Neil Dyer, the veterinarian who performed the operation on the
snake, said Ca couldn't spit the sweatshirt out because the cloth was
hooked on his teeth.
   "It had no choice but to swallow it," the former assistant zoo
director said. "But unlike the rodents and other animal life a python
subsists on, the sweatshirt wasn't digestible."
   The vet has handled snakes, but he had to check a couple of
medical books to see what kind of anesthetic, antibiotics and suture
material to use.
   The 45-minute operation left a 10-inch scar on the snake. "It was
different and educational," Dyer said.
   The 6-year-old python has been handed down among family members.
Chris Meeker bought it at a pet shop after he went to college at the
University of Minnesota. He named the python Ca after a character in
the Walt Disney animated film "Jungle Book."
   Now, Ca can go back to his normal diet of chicken legs and rats.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 20 Jun 91 15:49:56 PDT
From: kds@mipos2.intel.com (Ken Shoemaker)
Subject: when in the course of weird events...
To: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu, spaf, katz@il3cad.intel.com

June 9, 1991

HARD-LUCK TRIP TESTS A FLOCK'S FAITH

On a bus trip to California in November, a Chicago Apostolic Assembly Church
youth group endured the following: a two-day delay getting out of Chicago;
numerous breakdowns, including a tire blowout in Missouri; a junk-food
Thanksgiving dinner aboard the bus instead of the planned sumptuous meal in
California; clutch failure on the bus as it climbed an Arizona mountain
during a blizzard; two days in a small motel in Flagstaff, Ariz., awaiting
heater and engine repairs and emergency cash (which never arrived); the
stench of uncleaned lavatories; convulsions by the driver while at the wheel,
due to a diabetic reaction; and citations issued by New Mexico police for
having an unsafe vehicle (which finally ended the trip).

ODDS AND ENDS (MOSTLY ODDS)

San Francisco police officer Bill Langlois retired from the force in December
after 28 years, many as a decoy, during which he was mugged 256 times in
attempts to stop street crimes against the elderly.  Said Langlois of his
career, "I found it fascinating to see a crime from its inception."

3M Co. announced in April that at least 20 people have died in the last two
years from intentionally sniffing Scotchgard fabric protector to get high.
The National Institute on Drug Abuse says more people use inhalants to get
high than use cocaine.  Other drugs of choice include Freon, room
deodorizers, typewriter correction fluid and non-stick cooking spray.

As part of the coordinated global efforts for the third annual World AIDS Day
on Dec. 1, sponsors in Amsterdam featured a man dressed as a giant penis
riding in a limousine and accosted by a group of nurses, who unrolled a giant
condom onto him.

A West Valley City, Utah, man, 35, was charged with an August burglary in one
apartment and trespassing in a nearby apartment.  Police said that after the
alleged burglary, the man heard a baby crying and entered the second
apartment.  He awakened the mother and asked her to feed the baby, but she
refused.  After suggesting that the baby might need to be changed and
receiving no response from the frightened mother, he changed the baby's
diaper himself, lectured the mother, and left, but was picked up shortly
afterward by police.

Last September, the U.S. Board of Geographic Names complained publicly about
the difficulty in placing more Indian names on official maps.  Two examples:
The closest English spelling of a waterfall near Spokane, Wash., is
"Stseqhwlkwe."  And the native name of Lake Char in Massachusetts in a word
containing 44 letters and meaning, "You fish on your side, I fish on my side,
nobody fishes in the middle."

As part of last fall's primary campaign for state legislature in Muskogee
County, Okla., incumbent Jeff Potts charged dirty tricks against John Monks.
Potts made a citizen's arrest of two women carrying "Vote for Jeff Potts"
signs but wearing skimpy clothing and occasionally baring their breasts to
passersby on a busy street.

WEAPONS OF CHOICE

According to the constable in remote Alice Springs, Australia, aborigines
attacked three policemen in February by beating them with frozen kangaroo
tails and then ate the evidence.

A 13-year-old boy was arrested for assaulting his mother near Los Angeles in
January by throwing the family's pet Chihuahua at her during a fight.

Ronald Clark, 30, was charged with assault in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, in February
for reportedly hitting Thomas Jones in the face with a frozen fish, breaking
Jones' nose.  Clark was confronted in his home by Jones in an argument over
a woman.

June 16, 1991

THEY WOKE UP AND SMELLED THE COFFEE

Employees of the Merita Bread Co. in Greensboro, N.C., noticed last  year that
their company coffee machine produced a foul-tasting brew, and they tried
various remedies to improve the taste.  Some employees then remembered a
heated dispute they had with a delivery man, who had access to the plant in
evening hours, and thus organized a stakeout.  Subsequently, Dale David
Tinstman, 46, was arrested for having urinated into the coffee machine daily
for several months.

In Hull, England, Judge Arthur Myerson was in trouble with protesters after
rejecting a life sentence for rapist Brian David Huntley in March and giving
him three years instead.  Myerson said the lesser sentence was because
Huntley "showed concern and consideration by wearing a contraceptive."

GRUDGES

Dr. Steven C. Johnson, a Davenport, Iowa, obstetrician, cut off service to
the wives of three school officials in February because his son was not given
enough playing time in school basketball games.  One of the wives was eight
months pregnant at the time.

Tokyo police arrested Ryoji Akashi, 27, in January after his mother reported
that he was planning a massacre at a class reunion because many former
schoolmates had bullied him in junior high.  The mother became suspicious on
the day before when she smelled gasoline in his room and found the diary
entry "I will kill them with bombs and poison."

In April, Barbara Mossner, 41, was ordered by a court in Mount Clemens,
Mich., to pay her ex-husband $2800 for damaging his Frank Sinatra record
collection and drawing a mustache and glasses on his Sinatra poster.

Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher John Candelaria reportedly intentionally hit new
teammate Juan Samuel with a pitch in an intrasquad practice game in March
because Samuel had hit a game-winning home run off him when they were
opponents in 1983.

Charles Fortin, 28, of Toronto, was convicted in November of mischief and
harassment after spreading blood and animal body parts (cow scalp, ear and
leg) at the door of the office of his former lawyer, Katherine McLeod, after
she had dropped his case and spurned his romantic advances.

WEIRD ZOOLOGY

Casper the Great Dane recovered completely from a February incident in
Portland, Maine, when he stopped to answer a call of nature beside a Central
Maine Power Co. utility pole.  Unknown to him or Peter Legere, who was
walking Casper, the pole had short-circuited, and when Casper made contact,
he received a 20-volt shock.  Legere said Casper was in pain for 10 minutes
and "disoriented" for about 24 hours.

In March in Baton Rouge, La., 10,000 bees descended on the car of Maddie Mix
at Gene Humpheys' auto shop just as it was being driven into the car wash.
The bees kept landing even as the water sprayed them off.  A Louisiana State
University bee expert said probably the bees were disoriented because they
couldn't find their queen.

Residents of a block on Mapleton Avenue in Oak Park, Ill., are preparing to be
assaulted next month for the sixth straight year by several thousand
starlings that descend nightly on trees and resist high-powered water hoses
designed to get them to leave.  The residents don't want them hurt even
though they cause enormous "fouling" of the block.

Last summer, a class of 25 psychology students at Kalamazoo College in
Michigan trained 14 rats as part of a class project in lieu of writing term
papers.  Among the tricks the rats mastered were the broad jump, tightrope
walking and playing soccer.

Randall D. Beer, a Case Western Reserve  University professor, has created an
artificial cockroach using a computer program that simulates a cockroach's
thinking and behavior.  Next he plans to build a six-legged robot to test and
improve his design.  Said Beer, "Cockroaches are infamously robust and
flexible, and they adapt to complex dynamics.  Those are qualities we'd like
to see in artificial-intelligence systems."

------------------------------

End of Yucks Digest
------------------------------

Fib0f@h
%uʠ1bD9b(RN9nZ@	C<"1̘2i!RLuZbpNS: Ppa#(URː)-bBA4d`	c3E3Ѥr6}c†,@L|DȊ3nF
04)3gN3eZ$	3$ft۸sEӥ4,󒡛!:<lƏ L 28RM"IS&a:c̡3T)͘y,I8lsZ)vSQc{ځ@Dm코s( {X 
e
نEVFm<KITƔB !{d	si)$tiБFCsx7 @1DD<1Cf'aiq lqFn`i1
y&4^DdSSZuQrIFM@aFad5[Zl|		ijDuQǜҥoTAefZlhHP;P
!iqFljs|l1A˂d 1n`(ԤeQ
FvH6tqBZf-dky~PIBr/<i7rBɑƜƖ),YiB-JS)nC^H2ym䂄ƷK[g7>áis-ԜokuH'7K(w/QF@Mg\/l67$Bfdٙ>U^Dwq@.T;*QfDFJI:$@6f5v5vpS`ڑt2\ZkHf_+ "<?Eԧ"=A<Cׂ0k'z51	IljAR1I\p0T<lGRJLASh#f7tNt{IA;hi!J
N?$/Lb"
5iw <xqAܰ<	5'g2FLy59d4>mKD2މ!-ɑ.;NZalI#$J5;-aEGF2P4P+iΦ`;i
J%F&ȳKI)ˏ$RŝbI)btِ笓^}ËU@,eIنɈC,`
LCrljt5tӍ좌D6Kjt!G*ټ
Hn("@4m"8()=ġjtӟ	ovԧAqcHiCHZR(Mwv@la^LRUStHPCbxOŦ5(`lP5QAsmiN9]tllɔO:$Tsxv:SI21]k zEU<X::?I(*ڜRt&aU%@E$R!0KW!Zc)$iT!F8 ~hJqf^*
JRN69*	y/&	
|lEB2rN,zO
[h	7ٯsQC蠀TAz
CBk֢pjmBY0\<ur`URA9k{Ct#!ДUHA 8=7+ìRQh:djӬ]D_4>C@pj3޲$ف`3due$Iiik	i'G*Q+ұt#[qNEtJ5DX&0փ<#HBq$&eAG'(<T
h(wcH:ZaS˂ --+tQQ)4MvB	CC򃶈g.$;4yd^܌v@	X.q$eȾM'BB*U-PU-%)%Wh\_}lȺzV!sA}$tKn6]UKJHCW᮶i-2,fΩm=oH%F˧ڟfV39'o (1G2?^ݓIlQlA;66jc={<s1oCo|(ja9񋛗)C`NHmQi
T>\Rl_uRS#kBRaۑ3.PGyIwe >$&'.Baf-KW,	wp&WcL&$gJ%q*>21rqFOv0'/"?)
5$,0Z(%ۗ(C>%e)=(}wQLqU]a#j([CnP,TeB&"'@e3b,F[WwR#O}A'ڒ}x{Z)NQHUBmpBAgWRzGdigtahQ'$IpZd)oCa}cHb҄WPeB7UdrtAAG>-_SWut*~(pCAW5?utYq6IOcsXW>4!U/Fu$$A*&D)e@&Z}b&=cy*?nA"'4K$(ܑBf#M1Z}nKe)1e)Ǩ'dR'9`(hdP6OlB +6&0$ǷwaÈp4FcmkQwhDnϑ!vw.3H-'-P'!Ò#戎t,0bB-Yw$0spv:92^	p
GH^9cG*i"&PM+_/thcCNcvvHhh!'p#ևF%fqSCJyPRBhvr_#a/<'A(hlV4GTC"OpV,;45tThuqҹBW%@}tb[зO.
@quUw#x#pZٕGGHwΔ$dMqThJ8MM	%ǩ'ha"_dEDO` RCE #
0Km0_?"$Ug5}3.qJ"Br06Yu)inP6cBb*$4HE#(v6v}㘀E?Jaޙp)7J5 ՉbVt`G&B(JQ~*|*Xp
"Sc;By *$R]a:Z&KCd=n$s9z.WlB.%i ڒo/H̚6y &q$]CQ
q?Z&d 0G-:qda|>zz K!uSd7`y
b Kd2.us>q3dHБw@'3xXZ.@bfft3R0TR#{	C0uQbSD&H	{J+,%ǘEMM(bg1)X .rsFVgL`%EU
SZ0i"?>{e"L|Zh#{v,!!„74&^BL
`: աy0-!!>#)vҵq.oaeJI =q*{uB0d,I.PrfdeP{N{ɫDgUp]6- McP3b%y$t3WB7!O~%y;*bx3+k}615(EWwեWGMh2W2t:Il`\3WL#"/''C1.m cC!yQ>L/q\!"lZ<5.wpUIs|"aj-/qYHe"ђ#E*!EP`%IGLT@f
dN0AAj6rKUojQL[@?!oHPR5cQY,<&ÙgRǡd(J~͡:1LO04xෂIrvv,l2;G(Y6_!T@]aL%J!&64Fux_~Z1a&҅a*Zf].‡x	%r+@Q5wlR8;$A&Vg)+)BW(h\KAKd0-<*shi}P,`~g.
k@҄%xB!Qǩ{Z.X7ibV*769Q0ԩPSb-P!>?G"yה4IpeAV=#/Rp]=_
75zEJ4;/IH2`dJ~h0K'1ntM$9527^eƋT#DO&e#:-EP8Y0DRÿt:̝WTeY<Ţz~W&0|H3B_=Hka-$>b(lI0S QA<eZBp%2f#b;ݻɕ!#hl)$*cdAJ'/wf6.%Jw%E[ar,']7/t"d)sLO5bB*756S~L4(x'1cia3{S,4.K5s&Z{aZc@-,r
!x1ԛAa2;oUWx+LTHSz~Vj9B+b̳3.tyOH3@w"b)*Wrڲ;J^qxD$t&Ym^>]JGFbgYU.K ŕOv vc4hYnS*c#JY.HsFo`&Xxc&/Jܮ|EY_y)~.&M)-x!7˲^dd.5˅vs^Kj9+3a PVCp#!uxd d$@2OT2?7H)q_$0IQ77N_Edǖ"ƊL=}5|/uTpa K*.4+d6'nYx03JZ
6TrEC$dxAeЉ(ObBnrM&Z
A?c!#EpURڟD})<*)œ,>5L-auGYI+r'n]IHl4LEБu:1jFKsa_RB`/N!(>q!NBge/=)/NI Mޙ3Cܮks&R4ia\̸Pwhzo:Bc$
BDl&~Z!dw=ҒC<5(P_{,8X-<F39!vW^tTo 5hsH6Bt(Y0K m.#(bЉP!rža9
}$džXBdK^ՃX/YGS	Vw)+!LtZ`}k:TCil1`9=Pyx8bgbO+KAfRߒr9ifVϑ3I#I9?sNd%dtNޅa8ojL,iuV=|?:pEb+vB`:fß	Ib1Tq%eE/9.acf>ɉCEw4+	Ҍ61IGÅT.ƒГ,&f\rTE
eN#	"1mqœ[D@
XVfm\+ƠjM3\c'ι=קzF޸bDJ%*щK"&3
HP3@HKj.͏*WESooh:JV̀nr!iȮ47W5V3;!D{
27b?G#y͉0$:pô@
4E.q(V.,ECsHD^b6Lǰ0D%CN]MK-dn"R$@(mL!*D6+I'$Cwr`ɣ+X
C6	4\dPN LP]jV"jm%Z=DYhu:7$/C>5(IJ@#\p<HB 	bV	ȃ	)R&F Ln'r$ˈ6*Dʣ)"2#!DR#i$M(F`q'^A&*bŬ%mE#';ݪKp+y*?<uաR-v@dڤXU9|2tNS8QwQ5_k2|y#P1s3wJ(ƆJK<SA.6ҹ"́-LCrDe5R*xJ`y!DN@`	%_)~rMF1rKN5f"7~LhdPW2̐(paPmbXWn@}ĉR&`7ꭥA^:`^B@pT(fp3lO]SF9a8S<F_l_5
X0I\fB3up/|'Bs!Z* @Hgア*YE
2r~#9'G牰@L^Zh\('`	EM($
J+HY ٗ<(5 _V.[E0Ud:@.23h3?8	Jr
mr
3-4AtLIJX;Gzl&ķ$hZa rJ|#d~BZNN4&s=1]>
j	7萬	B9%HcmPŞZMI
=o"VpzderZȓR$FpdQn!
ZTnEO>*D<Y{uSEǛPv#OGZ!qV礮$|-*Gk(J(]jI#7yQh_/=(z8] < 2%	XQ5,)e١X=ԖtztM^x!_=L7F4VTfF=iDݏD F7>%7s|͚_MdIK3	$1
C%-`l[|&d05v`¨U.Xx
U)*%jĩbsfԽ3/USL>(ѣsJJ'}D,:""N݆GVJujTlTًѣ+zSHW8)Pı(}h
koh0Ap1:5PE4ՙN@jY0UHr!
[#?zr6SեԪW5*(u6^{TIg	2üP
vlȭiN!hmB	tL!E13k.? TpM
n	GUE|⶚DFɊHIKR[[lf@9!ևAXG*§L"@#|@#-A)	f<Sbk%W4&jLU1'nϢK#dӄS$px(r9%ۍ}XoPkm:@kϸ@%L.0eY=ODM^qMGJP%h4UeS3/7"͎5K,jŰMU3A0
SvDFSA[PV!I-TYIC:~f"p3FoH,X`x5KӎRq?f8wcq1+_-Q0<i%MDRk~D-Q@&추aZ!D~30J)-zx'=TIXR͞yĝU"9	ޘ㶂ҩpb9ХN;+VkkiHEi14ƮqV)F<P7ATp!` kDx5i\
gUIL5dw“
+^:C2==Ypa&|h
Q
eK$u>%%;|\9~D4_1H^(	uQ>cR3YKhزヰ/F+%iL&x'JmiB-TWaukI\)O:vjcQD1TyP|Q;Oʚʈ!933<ɚ"kԌMĘmˣ
-jalagV:KM|*`據c5	϶sh$_l#)p@}F5S:^x]H]x=(>S0
NB(]
ŧ	"0IAwkŁAJ% J)0H3<
nUZFA^|j)-Ԉ(ޡfeĮ6mv$\$aEU|عƒH]|ʧ4*9uFFC MADLDjnB]SEttf`|͌:dɾIu`uOUI>8FM\@1K<B"T"c먽⺨@*%r$U93AK"`Dl@A<),j &j?NsQf+PqKnNCu)B1q1]Y%(tX02,u,t]QS\M#oEZc^{P'ŭdL*%1y:fRB!@~Cᒒ64?X (Zh Lm6Bxiel&I8uT!MhB8b<bKpM%yFBE9%TcG![(1 9
רDD2[ϚWOsyAQ>	3ĕ{GaD4PMQaUu4V2bai	x%A3FPqp.11^|&
6	(@L(bSYaij0ƺeM0`"lǻ*J{
SZ6ImmQ,f9?ݳ.	Ia_Wtz|eq1mq[93q ;PQA.S˽J-^I!j(ɋp<s\#DI}buM,+8YEspLOm|XfĀYMNIP@kASbvuHBfҺ
!.l">Js8BN
J|e#X#jZx(&ty	K՚~](%)7pf:A6G4t]EG1Ox"\;s"|rF$6gA™{r"Zsa 4@X+o|f/R(I#U4p3X,<@gu:GklưxdB615mr3.KIɄ6xCdȸaDE$8U7G$"Wb#s&8pƒ s#:R|,B{ͪG1vi]^O@;4Ab}Saa4jK 6?210ĶU؍-#hiǬ	CY{P34r/̜(Ll	lV<!
	_*q5))IR d,G!L(rN
)У
>ML''D\(,]kƸ!5{7aNq 7gf kC&J1>&T}D la"8VǦn_pAan/ѝuNtI#L{s-etUb1AN._>سIKʓ6u"Xg;鎑Ȓ>HDxA2!n}4{:lgcJx/rhI	Gށā)}
ed!n
O=|y/慛<
3NoFme_5$+\9=s~`KB<Tpc{bfX"τ
jmAqpO{xNJp~jhɳz26j~̅|š@xIi42aN *&޶D=XVxC;$yQݬ	vv;UKr!"Q3tW*I?Lo4.|uxI\-h(& $pўV8 K(vXIBDS?-9|"n5@R*r%¡?q꒧ن7XE3D&+mNUp{ !;TU H'h+bLߦuCa䅫]T((ȯo^yWJM1 Wr{3+CZ|Jo1s\2tcF-p\`r2ipjٲ?Ew:Tשp$40WY
6Հb,hW죈9]荄5	uf4-H0ޏR^D2ؑms͉}Z6&ӈrluAg~ , X4e+FR_vQZʈx-,>lN\0,dmuzsB	S쌉<@Y#nLh;fK /D՟PPO	0%DKĶR,%lq,A O55.bkDKgJ$GcPI	Y{I~497`zVN1ucnqAu&2	.e77C]0*B݆z/=?e6Hon<1d#~w^򀱵!"b%2qwwJg/ƍ!ia,6K
8d-aE|
kܑ5@O5k!;dƀ%5Ŵv5C
6N󖪤''`OD&@BbFO@(4)-/ѐFޯƒzCTE Ƶ&05]'%ă>R4厔l:p|,j->;#0EwLv&	Qs({q{f"'ۇmo"B
lbZR8M;]xyVvF9Ƒvybbi5Ɨܾб_x!?ZG4OR;%ZEᦲdݖt;ׂTq^݃P!z1n5d	Bn5> 8D􅽥q-gHa&R5TӖ/?7It]YqϞX I=L<J
4oVEjIAKIՓblhX[QNERߎpĕtn
ՑzP`p8REH}
57/ou~yG\{`rBNxSn#UKk"n#eQJhfEۿ('i||b/GĎCx/T4D^֡yM/}JJQ3M_:yuFmB0r`.U`Ca
! 9&
Äx@E1 0<'"30cHo|Rf{]QIfvO"zCuV`4fZVHh_`"(dt%UtoQ@Py.۱FvNEIAba8	&гt	FUZψ#{ }tt=@z!/5 Ar
51\ɞ_Rۄ*WZPKJ5DŽQAar9MTE''<p4ti$?`+r<POd^IE!!epF7q~!aPu4L݂iAH'aNA	"COq۽L|3a{m$dMJ8֧DR-a ܙf*2
AgApAK\CfS!2_ؘVUG^(KϕYq#gs@XvbPaLI)	 x
?H8S\a&/dY=X	+3A;%N]P5`BfD<AsHjnǐ"@EOх=װr@$8eKߢUD.\c.!&&%a
|xsu4IVd,xM7VIZ4AhGGIKeBfpjSitekME0w@YAtB2@#HɟHU&.ʏxcD2T`o`(q)i@N ,`k
,.W<4+=XdSg80Nx!yAİ97
*)6a3GJX„6T3"
`PݖP[9&MZW%ZN~@RUuz.AՄM9$bi|`=&H EРU<eJ4CY5[T4R'&
	Y.+16Xn蘼C@sS9!sp}R‚.^	y1 od 1K-ji:?AVcIt7}C3=*ZMXV[((Rvڠ4TܗgJ	9EW8$!no	ZzPH$@
,d`8(C1^*Őp&qİ
h$>4|iM#!*^:Y?~sPP$ǂsXt9ud3HLtCsKISFw}ێQ2l:.X`6n1
8@1RI.H#7RPHbѤ+E۔8D`"Z#3F#pM;XK4c%WRv$t4aLmF?Q<I6!wpDkS3|tQWdtAP 'ZD6b
C"Os x1Jcc`֤g\
hCnNOhM5e~F(,M$(^mķ(7xoq*
#)hgXC>}&1*Bd3H'H"6n=B&`eH%zTI67idoƸTihv]Lc_v,5sf;^|ţkI6#a<4Dy'IL/$rK<Qטژ6F/!	NF*1VtSN9IhX"
]`&獦 AS\u}xA2Nz A"H0D^30beH@ $DR4=;JګF᎑ZqP<cN@] f2EblBFӉl$!m3\e=ŽEtn#D^(Ee )
̔:MpPZE<RHP"$0lcE@+͸a2Q\iل!IA}U
FG\ha$Ȓ-q<aLhUC͡3wKmdmKmJ$8>•Ȑ3 )'xᒱS@jHD$
L1P{bm  nRxCc|Q(IDt%1xpEH9
aZ@M49p"#Sd2iB)U>NdQL>30PSc"hpp4=C !
doW@sJh؟ c1@`,QX/|ף1lE
<P7daጬ*	ť(
K07duΉ)KleSRTR23~K$	rRDMȐ4*CsxG)o-*hhPXj~fi,BBXzG9qH9d}pEM`;> P,+X	
bYF&9)Ơ?$N\VaZR+*}]ȣ)ޔ\&M$Ĵd[҇W	D`O	cjϛ/C”NxcHzj
8&BI]V;cDJO@-=|9](<"$@hH)8'-@FaqPEcu8]B=su!PFDc+:9cN:U$P2YOM 0ZEELy#ɤtf,)dD	p@(Dq@Œ,
GFٹ9aY Ac@X;lIfg$Đk藝c~< ^“/s2Ռ*I_\(^b͡>TQf:HWD]@ڢM Efh7Ebs`)@f;ew	1A|PwUUq@
0	i)BKIc_!dVs`]!]N5fa['NL/.	uJp%Nl
"RA5I-	a50[0C
}I:Bk"<OISSʁ5߂b#hE|	"Cj=Z
@FJ 0GjI
e'Vpu84ڤ,(L[*?^.	[eUQcau<MXAbK?T4mcG;-A9qBfPIud> q*hc~DLBaBq"Vaϔ+!A(yKUD:Jr)C+yBzh73	4$@0y'b*	ܝ!iHEC@p,/